I’ve been online at the worldwide web since June 2000. During these 6 years I’ve met online a lot of wonderfull persons and good friends. One of my first friends was Ben from Bristol in the UK.
We’ve met on ICQ because we have the same music interests. And while we were chatting we’ve discovered a lot of things we both have in comon. In this period I was suffering from depressions due to a burnout, and Ben was suffering from depressions as well. We could talk about these problems and help eachother. The only difference I was seeing a therapist and was getting better and better every time and he got a few ups and many downs. We’ve sent eachother sms-es, cards and small gifts over snailmail.
Ben was in love with a girl he met online as well and he shared all his feelings with me. He was a very dear friend of mine, we chatted every day for hours and hours.
In 2002 ( I am not sure if the year is right, could be 2001 as welll) we decided to visit Pinkpop (a popfestival in Holland) together. Unfortunately due to these depressions Ben suffered from terrible fears as well, and he decided not to go because of these fears. But ok, I could understand we’d be still good friends.
Then he met online this girl in America and he fell in love with her and she with him. Again he shared his feelings with me. After a few months he even got the courage to visit her in America. After his visit they planned to get married and that she’d come over to the UK. The only problem was actually she was from some hispanic country in South America and living with a green card in The States. Because of this she couldn’d get into the UK, only for holidays.
Suddenly Ben didn’t come online anymore. He didn’t respond to my e-mails and sms-es, didn’t respond to the cards I sent by snailmail, nothing happened. I got worried something was wrong. After 6 months I sent him a new e-mail and suddenly he responded. He explained he got so depressive he had to get away, so he went to stay at his aunts place at the countrysite. He needed to clear his mind because he was playing with the thought of stepping out of life. He told his mom not to send him any mail wich came for him.
But now he was doing ok again and told me he booked a ticket to South America to meet the family of his fiancee.. They planned after this visit to get married and start the procedure to get her into the UK.
After his visit we had written a few e-mails and suddenly there was this silence again… My mails didn’t get answered, no reaction, he wasn’t on ICQ anymore, no nothing…. I was very worried, feared he was depressive again, and maybe tried to step out of life, but I couldn’t do a thing from here…
I’ve never heard of him again. I often think about him and wonder if he is still alive, and if so how he is doing, if he finally got married to this girl, if they’ve made it to get her to the UK. I wish him all the best, all the luck, happiness and love of the world, he deserved it!!!
He was such a dear friend, I miss him…

written by Liekie @ 04:19:06 pm
Tags: chat, friend, internet, United Kingdom